Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is Thursday, Sept 4. I just went to my mental health program and it as really fun and they had breaded chicken for lunch. That is my favorite. When I was waiting in line I said if it is not breaded chicken they will need to take me to the hospital.

I saw the next agent to query. The one I just did was a very good option so I could hear back from that one. I am not rushing it with the next one. I don't really know what to say in my query but I think it will be the mice books that I tell her about.

My mouse father has been sharing parenting videos and he just told his viewers that I lost 80 points because of some bad behavior. And that is true but I usually end up doing well and apologizing.

I think I will soon have another cup of coffee. I saw a video online of someone thankful for their attention and following.  And it really makes me happy.  And I don't need to convince everyone that facebook is from my prayers.  But it could be funny someday to say that in regards to Mark Zuckerberg like to try to publicly take credit for it instead of him.

I need to gather some info for the PHP application. I think I might need to call Jorges Alvarado and ask them for some paperwork.

Well have a good day everyone.

 Hello everyone. It is 5:45. I looked at the publishers list. I saw an email address for someone. I was like, do people just email this person? Then I saw that it has to be an agent. I could tell her I am self-agented.

Pretty funny. 

I think I should start mailing some books, like maybe package a few packages and then get the addresses.

Well, soon I am going to my online group.

Have a good day everyone.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is 5:15. I jsut posted two other posts. I wonder if I will start writing again.  Maybe I will write some poems. Maybe I will think of some rhymes.  Do I need to be sending more queries? I do not know. I think that would be a good thing to do right now is look through the books and the CWI directory. What does it all mean? I do not know.

Should I try to mail out all the books I have in my room? Maybe go through the names in my facebook again? I just don't know if anyone wants any of the books.  And what about the hospital people?  They did not get a book.  Dr. Halpern, Dr. Johnson, Dr. Griebe, Dr. Levin, Luis Falgundes, Alex De Silva, and the edema people. 

Do they want a joke book? Well I do not know.

Ok I just saw the missing christian market book.  It was under my computer. Well I will look for some more agents and publishers for a while.

Have a good day everyone.

 Hello everyone. I watched another Sept 11 video.  The national geographic series is excellent. Wow, this video had a section about flight 93 and a mom who left a message telling her son to overpower the terrorists. 

I just took my medicine. I ate some sauce and some corn chex. Hopefully that was enough food. Maybe I will also eat a snack size butterfinger.

I can stay up however late because I think we don't have program tomorrow. Maybe I will go buy some sour cream and make the corn casserole.

This was a good facebook share and I am so grateful to the nice people.  And it is probably going to be a cool mil, which I did not expect at first.

It is a more loving feeling for the God loves you posts.  So maybe I will do some more. I still think the Jesus died for your sins memes are good. There is a different feeling sometimes from that, but I believe it is good for people to be familiar with that if not try to understand it.

I can feel some of it now, how it has the bloody cross element which offends. And the gallstone that can't be removed without a sacrifice.  It is the reason christianity isn't necessarily easy to share. 

But anyway these posts are easier. How is my face doing.  It will be mostly back to normal tomorrow.  But not a great normal but an okay normal. It is not that big of a deal. I think it has been worse with the medicine.

Now how do we all feel about the query. I do not know.  I felt a slight depression feeling but that could be from successful youth ministry which for me is opposed by depression. When I saw the website I did like the people and it is only three people. But was I supposed to do a novel? I do not know.

I think my actual email was not very good. I had some awkward wording that could make them think I can't write.  But maybe it is good for them to know that they are dealing with a post career writer.

But maybe they will examine it and see that it does make sense and is grammatically correct despite wordiness. Anyway maybe they are reading this blog.

I am still a little shaken up by that racist security person yesterday. It is just a bad combo of people banging on the door, no obvious intervention from guards, and the awareness of bad cops in the neighborhood.  And now a gang that might have already sent me a personal message on the sidewalk with fresh barbecue sauce.  I mean I do not know. I just am not scared of the gang but am worried about the cops. So then I have to think about whether I can move to Greenville and that is another scene of torture.

Anyway I am still writing this even though maybe it is time to go to sleep. Well have a good day everyone.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is Monday, Sept 1. I really like Sept 1 and always feel the fall season arrive on that day. Right now it is 5 pm. I did not do much today but it was a mostly nice day. I sent a second query and felt good about it but got an instant discouraging reply. But really I don't know how things will go, so maybe I could even do a few more in the next day or so. Honestly I don't even know if anything would be hinging on it. Because why haven't the books already sold?

I just flipped through my hokey jokester book and pinnacle of human folly. I could feel that my attention span is still damaged by medicine but much better than it was. I am staying inside too much and need to get more exercise. I think one way to do that is to mail more books out.  So maybe I can look up facebook friends and see if they want books mailed to them. I mean there could be ten more people right now who would be so happy. But I don't know.  It could be that the book giving phase is finishing up. 

Anyway I think at 6 pm I will go to a Nami group.  I hope it is meeting. I wonder if I should take art classes or something. Well I do not know. Maybe do the Pratt certificate.

But I think I am going to be in PHP soon. I hope that works out. Do I need to email Drena? I will email her tomorrow to see if she wants to meet this week. 

I read some poems from Plaid Birds and was happy with them.  My poems are good and worth reading.  Where can I find an audience for them.  Do I need to start a book exchange? I just don't have leadership skills.  Do I need to ask for a corporate donation? Maybe that is what I should do. To just randomly do searches online for companies and see if someone will donate before I have a school confirmed.  And then call a few schools.

Well, have a good day everyone.

 Hello everyone. Today is Sunday, Aug 31. It is 2 pm. I might go take a walk later but I don't know for sure.  There are gangs making themselves known in the neighborhood and the police are an even worse threat to me. But I think there are some nice police people somewhere in there, so I still am staying hopeful. Also I think I live until I am 53 years old so I am not assuming this is it.  But at night people bang on my door sometimes and jiggle the handle to try to get in. Last night I called security and I guess next time it will be the police.

It is definitely a different life when the cops don't help, or when you have to worry about their racism and false accusations.  I still believe that a lot of what you see on the news is bad politics and attempts to make the innocent people seem responsible.  What a lot of people want is other people's money.

I think the liberals might have had their day and now people will go back to wanting actual liberty and justice instead of social justice and religious liberty, whatever that was.

But who knows, I am very much on the "margins" that people pretend to care about.

I guess I will look at agents again, maybe this time try for a christian agent.  But I do not know. Do I have the christian agent book? I am not sure I do. I think I subscribed to a website and my subscription doesn't work.

Maybe the neighborhood problems will motivate me to use my treadmill more.

I made spaghetti sauce but I am eating it without the noodles because it took too long for the water to boil and I don't have the patience. Plus I like the sauce by itself.

I read some of my book called Gospel Compendium and the poems are good.  For some reason it was the Plaid Birds poems that hit me as being better as the other sections.  But the other sections are fine. I think some people would like that book.

Sometimes I can feel God's will happening and it is strange to think of how messy my life is with him still blessing me the whole time.  That is a reminder to pray for other people, especially in New York, who are trying to get through school and work.

Well, have a good day everyone.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is 10:10 on Saturday, Aug 30. I just watched a video about Sept 11. It was truly awesome. It is the video from national geographic about the south tower. It had a story about two guys who made it out of the south tower in time. It was a miracle and they did the best they could as God helped them.  This could be my new favorite movie, oddly replacing Airplane.

Anyway I read some of my old journal. It was weird to read it with the documentary mood going because it causes a retrospect effect but my life then wasn't that important. It was because I was writing good things and it was also a miracle.  But I am aware of some perspective. So that is interesting.

The sept 11 movie makes me not want to give up sharing my faith on facebook.  It made me feel safe in that regard, like I finally did find an audience who was receptive to my evangelical mission that has been thwarted before so consistently and severely. 

So that is good. I think I will pray as much as I can during this facebook share and care about people like the sept 11 people.  Workers, medical people, TV people, other nations, just people who make decisions in their lives and need help sometimes.

There is something else to say which is that my skin looks bad right now because it had a rough cycle.  But I am also relieved that the medicine side effects are more normal now.  But I hope I can leave it alone and let it heal quickly over the next two days.  That is too bad but it is just something in my life that is probably like that for a reason. I think some of it has to do with racism and giving me a parallel burden.

But that is not all.  Some of it was probably helpful for priestly singleness.  I don't want to say that and make other people despair, because it is not that big of a deal or at least shouldn't be.  And really I was okay for most of adulthood until the medicine messed me up.

Anyway that is all.  Usually I do not discuss it but I am aware it is worse than usual.  But at the same time it isn't, because that aspect that was caused by the medicine is almost back to normal.

So anyway, should I look through the children's book publishers directory.  Maybe.  I mean I do not know.  Children's books. Who is the target. I am just not good at this.  I feel strong and able to not give up.