hi everyone i am in Greenville for a visit

 Hello everyone, I am in Greenville visiting friends and family. It is a nice visit so far.  Today I am planning to go to the mall and hang out. It is my childhood mall.  I like going there and it is easy to drive to in my dad's truck. I visited my dad with my sister yesterday and it was a good visit. He is in an assisted living facility. My mom is doing better too and so far I feel safe and comfortable here. The train ride was good and my good pal Gilbert gave my a ride home from the train station.  He is a cab driver, I think from Budget Cab.  I should tell more friends about him. maybe a facebook post but facebook doesn't reach people that easily in the same way as before. 

One of my favorite twitter dogs that I follow died this week. It was a beagle basset mix named Daisy. This is also about a year now after Tootsie Roll died.  Those dogs probably saved my life when I felt persecuted on social media.

 

I ate yummy food yesterday from Joy of Tokyo restaurant. It is a twice a year treat.  I might get wings on my trip, too, from my friends' wing restaurant. I think it is called Wings on the Run.

 

So that is a blessed time and a blessed life. I realized that I have taken about 40 train rides in the past ten years, going back and forth from SC to New York. That is a great happy life habit and I am thankful. Amtrak seems to be recovering some from a rough patch during the pandemic, and I am glad they got through so far. It actaully is a phenomenon with patient heroes, and I suspect there is some PTSD mixed in that needs treatment. Do you just say stuff like that when you have a social work license? Yes, I do.

 

So okay. Have a nice day everyone. I have a new book that I think is pretty funny. Check out the second thin book series, it is pretty funny and cheap!

Don't forget to do your taxes everyone

 Hello everyone, today is April 14. 

I do not know if people want to hear from me, but I would like to say that I am relieved that the missiles were shot down, and it does improve my approval for Biden’s leadership. 

 

However, I still think that USA has let Israel be bullied for a long time.  The chunk out of Israel now that is reflected on some maps is hard to believe.  And yet Egypt does not face much criticism at all for keeping its borders closed to desperate Palestinians.  Why is that border so sacred, like possibly about two million times more respected than Israel’s sea access?

 

As Iran shows itself, we can see not just the violent aggression against Israel, but a hateful campaign that may account for the evil human shield strategy behind much of Palestine.  People called it a genocide years ago, and as people moved in, they cried, “this is a genocide.” It was suspiciously pre-emptive and predicted, almost immediately, and has lasted a long time.

 

It’s not a new strategy, it’s similar to a suicide bomber mentality associated with Jihad terrorism for hundreds of years.  Maybe thousands.  It is an assault on God’s name and people.  More and more overt, exposing who was sincerely trying to care about children and sympathize with anyone still innocent, but also showing what kind of abuse much of media and other godless people have been too complicit with.  The glee, the arrogance, and the audacity of people who don’t see Israel’s rightful place in God’s sight have become manifest, and the harvest of death is happening.  I believe God will intervene, and his faithfulness to the US as well will probably relieve and surprise many people whose faith has eroded throughout these profane decades of cultural hostility.

 Well hello everyone, today is Saturday.  Tamara and another staff member did their abuse harassment last night and severely triggered me, but I am mostly okay this morning and hope to do my comedy show Sunday.  I do not know why it is allowed and continues.  It has now gone on for two years.  I had thought a few times, maybe it is their job or something, to make me feel bad when I take medicine, for reasons I don’t know.  But it isn’t. It is severe abuse. It is a bad life problem.  My birthday is soon and I will be 47.  That leaves me probably about 6 years left to suffer from emotional abuse.  It won’t all be here.  I do not know how much longer I have here, but I still have some mail to get for my name change so I think I should stay here at least through the summer and maybe all year.  And for some reason I have to be abused. It makes me not respect a lot of people because someone should have successfully intervened.

Sci Fi Monsters in the Bronx

Hello everyone, today is Sunday. I just did my laundry. It went well.  I also ate some jello fluff salad.  Yesterday I saw a doctor about some stomach acid from a certain combination of food and emotional abuse.  I feel better today.  

I did not go downtown to my new church.  Today I am attending the last night service of saddleback because my online church is doing a sermon series that I don’t appreciate.  ‘

 

I posted a video on facebook about my thin book series.  It is kind of funny, kind of rude.  Not perfect and I am wearing the same shirt as my last video.  But for some reason that is how it worked out.  That was a weird experience this week but I think I got it right in the long run.

 

So okay. What else.  I told my neighbors that I wasn’t going to give them food any more because one guy tried to make me look guilty on video, like he pretended to hand me money or something so it would cloud his drug dealing ways.  And now I notice that he walks to the town square between two high schools.  But people were genuinely sad and hurt when I said I was stopping the food sharing.  So maybe I will just try to warn the schools about him, and still give food to the mostly innocent.  Though he could try to take it from them.  So I don’t know what to do about that.

 

Something else happened last night when I was going to sleep, which is that I had one of my mild nocturnal seizures and heard a voice.  And the voice said cheerfully, “I’m going to get a cord.”  And I genuinely believe I heard a young angel’s thoughts as they finished defeating one of the enemies that attacks me during seizures.  It is a classic case of Temporal Lobe Epilepsy, which overlaps with heaven and hell.  Read about it online, it is not a coincidence that it mixes with demon possession in the bible.  Anyway, I think I witnessed an angel realizing that it was going to get a reward.  And that reward might work like graduation regalia.  So I think that is really exciting, because I care about rewards and pray for that for people all the time.  This angel might be in some kind of ROTC program in a realm near me.

 

Well that is all.  One of my apartment friends just invited me to a church that he visits sometimes.  But he said he is not a Christian.  I think he probably is and doesn’t know it.  That is kind of funny how people are and aren’t or say so or don’t say so, and don’t know about other people. I guess it is like that for a reason.

 

Now there is a sermon online about Gideon.  People sometimes think I am Gideon when I am more like David.  Bible stories.  More interesting than we realize.  I think some angels and demons are time travelers, and that is how Christ defeated all of them at the cross.  Like they all try to target the cross because they know that is it, and that is why they were all there to be defeated once and for all.  And when the beast is destroyed at the end of revelation, it was trying to get to the garden and and create a time loop.  Think about it.  What are “ages,” astronomically?  Why is everything in orbits and circles instead of lines?  It holds up well with verses about destination. 

 

Well have a good day everyone.

Bye everyone, try not to be flammable in the long run

 Hello everyone, this is Refried, writing from NYC where we had an earthquake a little while ago.  It happened right after I talked to my insurance company for the fourth time about changing my account to my legal name.  I felt the problems of insurance, the dirty money and power grab, the way I tried to fill out a survey praising the person for good customer service but had to say low numbers about what the company has done to me, knowing they are going to blame her for their numbers.  And then rumble rumble, the floor is shaking, it's an earthquake in a major city that built a nuclear power plant near a faultline.  I went outside to sit for a while, but possibly there will be more rumbles that I will feel in my fourth floor apartment in a flimsy building.  I think I still have it good here, and have a day off even from chores, other than the oppressive insurance difficulties that have harmed me now for my entire adulthood.  

Life is short, we are like grass in the wind, or something like that, heaven will be for eternity, God has already intervened in the problem most severe, which is our own foolish forfeiting of our status in his eyes.  That was Jesus on the cross, figure out how it works, time could be up for any of us about anything at any time.

Well, that is all, I remember those people who always say natural disasters are because God is mad. Well I am like them except it has to do with my personal problems.  It's interesting, because I do have injustice that matches whatever God does today.

Hoppy Easter, peeps!

 Hello everyone, happy easter. I am doing okay today, just working on a video for facebook sharing my thin book series, and I made a lemon cake with chocolate icing.  It turned out great and I feel happy about it.  

My name change is going okay and I have sent updates to all government offices now.  My passport photo did not look good and it weirdly depressed me in some way that I still feel.  But it will be okay, possibly I will redo it someday if I am alive long enough to travel. Really I do not travel out of the country much because of my mental illness. I do not want to get thrown in jail somewhere else.  But increasingly, USA is also not a safe place to have mental illness.  There is no excuse for that, and there has been plenty of knowledge that could have reached people to not be ignorant abusers. 

 

Anyway, I hope that some of my books sell soon.  I do not want to forget that some of my work has not been wasted and reached a lot of people on facebook.  But I feel that there should at least be some reach with the books.  And if there isn’t, then I wonder if amazon themselves have undermined sales in some way.  When one of my friends visited the site, he could not tell that the books were printable.  That kind of stuff is usually on purpose.

 

But maybe things will change soon.  Today I might read through some of the books. I had to order some copies to use for the video.  I will mail a few to friends soon, but I think I won’t have the budget to continue at the same rate until there are some sales.  

 

I think Soldier Hogs is my favorite book. I might order a whole bunch of them to give away.

 

Well everyone, I hope you all have had a good Easter.  

How I became an emotional abuse connisseur

 Hello everyone, this is Refried Bean. I don’t know if anyone reads this blog. It seems that the tech people never wanted the blogspot blogs to be that easy to find.

I am about to attend online church. I like my church. They are nice to me.  I thought they supported gay intentions more than they actually do, but they still do people right in my opinion.  

 

Last night was rough at my apartment.  The worst staff person was on duty, with the most racist security guard.  Thankfully I am friends with a lot of my neighbors, so I wasn’t completely surrounded by evil.  However, I have experienced racism at the hospital near where I live, from the ems and cops, and I did feel like I had no one to call for help if any of the enemies decided to strike more than they already do.

 

Yesterday I asked if I had any mail, because online it says my DMV license was mailed on the 13^th, and Tamara went to the mail room, waited a few minutes as if to make me think there was some mail, and then came out and said there wasn’t mail.  My case manager did that last week and then Sunday there was mail, so it was a blatant lie to my face.  The apartment organization supports that kind of abuse and dips deeply into moral compromise in order to engage with their chosen client population. They call it “harm reduction,” but it really just transfers the harm to the people they think seem too educated or privileged.  It becomes most convenient that disability and prior discrimination allows representatives from the classes they hate to be subject to mass bullying from anyone with a psych condition in a neighborhood that also wallows in failure and crime.  

 

My sister is visiting next weekend.  I am glad and am going to try to brainstorm solutions with her.  I think in actuality I might have two years left in this hell hole being snake bit intermittently by people who should have been fired as soon as they showed themselves to be child abusers.

 

It is very depressing and I feel the toxicity as a literal poison that should have been prevented and damages other things that people worked hard to provide for me. I have spent all my concessions from the good people in society, and this vacuum effect where bullies are allowed to suction away any good feeling and peace is a crime.  Does it seem too complicated? It isn’t.  If you had to sit in a room with any of these people, you would feel it, and you would not be able to stand it for more than a few minutes.  It would be like having a snake placed in your lap.

 

Anyway I do not know how to pray either.  I try praying for my enemies but feel those prayers aren’t right and I should pray for God’s vengeance instead. 

 

Well I guess that is all for now and maybe I will write another post soon. I might have sold a book online, which means that probation spell could be over. But I have thought that before.  I still have to say I mostly disagree with the stewardship of my writing career.  The success should have already happened, and I am abused by monsters like Tamara because of the fumble.